My friend jason sent my this so I thought I would share.

This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time.  I think
this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from
the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording
monitoring the customer care department.  Needless to say the Help Desk
employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect
organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"


Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor.  I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it.  Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find
the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over??"

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's
because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power...................................... A power
failure?  Aha!  Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the
boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the where you bought
it.

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

~Brian~

Hey guys, im using nicks computer to make this post (what a great roommate.). I've got a few things to talk about.

Number one is what happened Friday night. What happened you ask? Why only the best night I've had in forever! It all started when me and josh were talking to mike miller and patrick combs about paintball vs. laser tag. After a long talk me decided it would be fun to play, so me and josh went to wal-mart and bought the laser tag guns. We brought the guns over to summit to show mike and patrick and some of patrick friends saw us playing with them and decided to go buy guns for themselves. Once everyone got back we were fully equiped to get our 'tag' on. After playing a few games and figuring out how the guns worked questin and cj called to see what we were doing. When josh told them they got excited and bought guns too! This brought the number to nine. We had a great time playing 'defend McEver' and '3vs.3vs.3' matches. When all was said and done and everyone got tired we had play for a good 2 hours(I think). It was awsome!

Number two is the Jazz Band Tour we went on today. Other than having to get up a 5:45 to load equipment it was a fun trip. We played at Alma High School, Went to the Mall for 2 and a half hours, and then played at Greenwood High School. I started out the trip by annoying David because layne was asleep and wasnt answering his phone(sorry Dave) and ended up getting a haircut at the mall with robert and james. We also got to play at greenwoods new auditorium which was great. It had a really nice atmosphere and the band director got drinks for us for the ride home.

Well im off to rehearsal. God Bless you guys.

~Brian~